Being up at the moment of sex is not easy for all women. That's how you can learn it.
In this video, we’ll show you specifically, what possibilities you have as a woman or person with a vulva, when you’re on top during sex. The great thing is that you can take control over speed, friction and angle. Many women need exactly this in order to have an orgasm. In contrast, some women don’t enjoy being on top because they can’t fully relax, and they need this relaxation for them to really live their lust. Find your personal positions in which you feel comfortable.
And one more thing before we start: Our videos should not be understood as instructions, but as suggestions. Watch them alone, watch them as a cuple, try them out, talk to each other. And now: have fun watching!
Always keep in mind: every body is different. Maybe all these techniques are suitable for you, maybe just one or maybe even none. By the way: The person with the penis doesn’t have to be male – transwomen who have a penis can obviously also enjoy these practices. And there are similar positions for couples who don’t have access to a penis at all.
Variations of cowgirl position
The most popular position shown here is probably cowgirl position: For this position, she sits on him and inserts his penis carefully into her vagina. Especially in the beginning, she should not lower herself too quickly and make sure to let him slide in smoothly. It’s easiest if her knees lie next to her partner’s upper body.
There are different ways to move in this position. Not all of them are equally suitable or pleasurable for everyone. There are women who find it most exciting to glide up and down, which is very similar to penetration in positions like missionary position. You need to figure out for yourself how to move your pelvis. Strength can primarily come from the thighs or from the pelvis moving up and down [twerking]. You might have to try around a little. Do you prefer to sit upright, or do you enjoy bending forward over your partner and supporting yourself with your hands or elbows more? If you sit upright, you can also be stimulated clitorally. When you are closer to his body, the clitoris is usually stimulated indirectly by friction between your bodies.
But many women don't like to move up and down because they find it exhausting and can't let themselves go. In addition, it can easily happen that the penis slips out of her, which can be painful in the eagerness when she re-enters. Also, not every penis is the same size and equally hard. Especially when the up and down motion is not a good option, it’s recommended to move the pelvis in a circular motion, or also forward and backward - the clitoris is also indirectly stimulated here. For the woman, sex is usually the more pleasurable the more she involves her whole body in her movements. Especially, when you are on top, you can let your whole body follow the movements of your pelvis: Waist, shoulders, chest and head. Especially, if you sit on him and feel him well inside you, you can tense the pelvic floor muscles to create more tightness - this can be a very slow and pleasurable way of penetration. Women can also approach the movements by taking care to breathe deeply.
It is also possible to place your feet next to your partner. In this position, you can close your knees tightly together. This way, you indirectly build up pressure on your clitoris. But you can also let them lie next to him, if you can move better that way. In this position it’s sometimes much easier to control the movement of the pelvis. In order not to lose balance, it’s advisable to either lean back and support yourself on your hands, or to shift the weight of your upper body forward. By the way, a very sensual way for the lying partner to help is by supporting your hands with their hands: If he then puts his hands behind his head, you automatically move over him and are very close to him.
This is also a good transition to another position: the lying cowgirl position. You’re not sitting but lying on him. Your legs can lie both on, as well as next to his legs. The two of you can move slowly together in this position and bring both your rhythms together, but without him being able to penetrate particularly deeply. In this position, your clitoris is especially stimulated, because a lot of friction is generated.
Another position in which you can be particularly close to him, but he can penetrate deeper, is similar to cowgirl position. The difference, however, is that he now crosses his legs and sits down while leaning backwards on his arms. In this position, your pelvis is slightly tilted forward to stimulate the clitoris as well. This position also offers the possibility of deep intimacy as you can look at each other, kiss and hug each other.
Also nice: The lower person sits and leans backwards, for example against the headboard of the bed. For greater comfort he can cushion his back with some pillows. You sit on him and squeeze your knees in front of his chest, place them next to him or wrap them around his upper body. The ideal leg position depends very much on strength, flexibility and build and has yet to be found by every woman. You can lean back in this position until you can support yourself. The movement can come from the legs and the pelvis. The advantage of this position is that he can stimulate your clitoris very easily and his penis stimulates your front vaginal wall.
Reversed cowgirl position
If you turn around, you can change the angle. Especially, if you like to show your bottom and also like it being caressed, massaged or pampered in other ways, this position is especially appealing. In most cases, he’ll also be happy to see you like this. In addition, he can sit up and caress your belly, breasts and shoulders. If he sits up completely, he can also hug and kiss you. To create more indirect pressure on your clitoris, you can also place your legs on one side of his body. To be able to move in this position, you can take his hands and move with the power of your arms. While this position can be very pleasurable for some women, it’s not at all for others.
By the way, positions where you are on top are particularly suitable for sex outside the bedroom: on armchairs, chairs, on the sofa, in public toilets. We'll give you
two more tips: If you're sitting on a chair and you're facing him, it's very helpful to have your feet on the floor to use the power of your legs to control your movement. But there’s another way: Especially when both are sitting on the same armchair, you can place your legs on his shoulders. Move your pelvis back and forth by pulling out of your legs against the back of the chair and leaning back alternately. Of course, he can support the movement with his hands on your hips. If you’re not so flexible, no problem: If you sit on him, put your legs on the floor, hold on to his neck and push your back slightly in his direction, it’s much easier to move and still feel aroused.
If you don't feel like being on top and you’re sure because you've tried it before and you've never been happy with it, just forget it. But it’s possible, as mentioned before, that with another person and in another phase of life, it suddenly becomes exciting again for you again. So, stay open. The positions shown are often more suitable for a slower, more conscious kind of sex, which sometimes lasts longer than half an hour, and has a lot to do with letting go and inventiveness. So, don't just learn positions, above all learn what kind of sex you actually want to have and when. When you just rip off your clothes and start fucking, then you probably won't consciously start trying things. But sometimes you have a whole night, and you take breaks in between. So just take a look at when what we’ve shown is best for you to integrate into your sex.
With further ideas and suggestions, simply write us.