She’s too tight – What can you do?

Occasionally, you hear about the problem that the vagina is too tight respectively the penis is too big. But: The vagina can never be too tight for the penis, as every vagina is generally so expansible that a baby head can fit through.

Occasionally, you hear about the problem that the vagina is too tight respectively the penis is too big. But: The vagina can never be too tight for the penis, as every vagina is generally so expansible that a baby head can fit through. However, there is a symptom called “vaginismus”. Vaginismus is the physical or psychological condition that affects a woman’s ability to engage in any form of vaginal penetration. The PC-muscle involuntarily contracts so badly, so that any kind of vaginal penetration is painful or impossible. This spasm has different possible sources:

Fear of pregnancy: One cause can be the fear of pregnancy. Accordingly, other things can be inserted into the vagina, but if it’s a penis, the vagina tenses up. Talking sufficiently about contraception could help to overcome this fear.
The pain: Vaginismus can be caused through pain: This means that you might have possibly experienced pain during sexual intercourse which leads to your muscles contracting a lot. The thought of pain can already make the muscles contract so early that sex is not possible at all.
Unfamiliarity: The unfamiliarity with the own vagina is also a cause: The first aroused condition can let a woman feel insecure and thus trigger a protective reaction of the PC-muscle, without it being provoked consciously.

Tips
Oftentimes the muscle spasm affects young and sexually inexperienced women: This often implies to take control of the own sexuality now. In order to familiarise your girlfriend with sex, it is helpful to begin with petting: This way you can establish an intimate, sexual basis with each other and with your own sexual organs – patience pays off! Positions such as the cowgirl or spoon position are very suitable for the first experiences: If the woman is on top, then she can decide how to move her pelvis as well as determine the depth of penetration. Additionally, deep penetration isn’t really possible in these positions – in contrast to for example doggy style.

Conclusion
With vaginismus, it is very important that she gains control over her PC-muscle. She must understand that the touch of the vagina doesn’t mean pain, but rather to perceive it as pleasant and arousing. Thereby, curing the causes as well as a slow, relaxed approach to sex with the partner can establish trust and decrease the fear of a mutual sexuality.